As many of you may know, I have been struggling with depression, anxiety and panic and it has lead to many issues for me that are hard to explain.
If those around me don't understand depression correctly, it can result in difficult and painful exchanges with well meaning people, the loss of friends and more. I have had to deal with that.
I post this video in the hopes that my friends would take 4 minutes to watch. This is an excellent explanation. I actually could check things off in it, one by one, so in this video you are getting a very good picture of me.
The biggest thing that I would like people to understand is that it is not made up, and just because I have it, it doesn't make me weak or less of a person. Many things have been said to me, some with good intentions, that have actually caused me more harm than good and that is because I truly believe there is a lack of understanding and education.
So again, a little more than 4 minutes can lead to an understanding and a basic tool to help those that are suffering.
I choose happiness every morning. I write in my gratitude journal daily. If I actually get out of my house to an event, I wear my smile like one puts a coat on. The problem with that is that the coat is overwhelming and heavy and hard to keep on and I am drained by the weight of it.
I used to keep this a secret because of how the people around me talked about depression like it wasn't serious or real or how they talked about people who had it and made fun of them. As time passes and I experience very low lows, I have a harder time hiding it.
I used to work very hard to try to be "normal" or the person that I was at one point, but in the end, I have to embrace my "new normal". I have to realize that society hasn't yet embraced it like a broken arm or a cold...those things heal...depression is on its own time table.
This is the hardest blog I will probably ever write, but I am going to be brave and do so in the hopes that this will help not only me, but those around me.
