Today was a milestone. Today, I applied for a marriage license. Second time, however it is the first time in my memory. The real first time is missing in action…lost somewhere in the recesses of my mind, for reasons unbeknownst to me.
Today: Best day of my life. More powerful than receiving the ring and the question even-not sure why. My life was lying out on a desk in front of me at the clerk of courts. Birth certificate. Driver’s license. Passport. Divorce decree. $70. Beside me, the man that has captured my heart and my soul…is signing at the dotted line, saying that he promises to marry me.
“Please check everything in this paperwork and make sure that it is correct.” Eyes swimming over the words-I know that they should say something-I just am feeling very emotional and that emotion is clouding my ability to read, like fog on the windshield…I want to see through, but I can’t.
William Thomas Johnson is marrying Michelle Lee Kaping.
Eight words that have changed me beyond what I can put into words. HOPE. Eight words surround me with comfort, warmth and excitement all at once.
I look over. I can hardly breathe. The clouds of emotion clear and I read through the paperwork. I pick up the pen and have never been so sure of anything in my entire life.
William Thomas Johnson has given me a new birthday. My life is beginning again because he showed me it could. I feel like I should lean over and thank him for introducing me to myself. I have been missing “me” my entire life. I am so excited. I want to get to know me. I am so grateful for the love without strings that he has given me. Unconditional…beautiful…true…love forever and ever no matter what.
The pen slides over the paper…my name appears on the line. The clerk tells me the license will be in the mail on August 23rd and then tells us to have a good day. She has no idea she should be filling out the birth certificate as from this day forward, I truly feel alive for the first time.
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