That Little Voice

There is that little voice…it spoke to me this morning, quite early. I am not able to sleep. It’s a common theme, but I don’t quit trying. Bill will make his way to work at anywhere between 4am and 5am Monday through Friday. I will lay awake and watch him go about his business getting ready for work. He gently kisses my forehead and whispers sweet things as he makes his way to work. In those moments when the bed just gets a little bit colder and emptier, I have the tendency to feel a bit sorry for myself. The silence surrounds me and teases me all at the same time. I want to nestle in and drift a bit with the glimmer of sleep tapping at my eyelids.

Today was not the same as every other morning. Today, there was that little voice inside my head that said, “Get up, right now”. It was a distinct moment where I clearly heard it and thought it strange that my “inside voice” was so loud. So, I listened.

I slide out of bed wondering what I would do until the moment the alarm went off. Clearly I couldn’t read a book. That little voice told me to get up. I busied myself with housekeeping items and waited until an appropriate time to shower without feeling guilty about making noise to wake up the kids (who am I kidding…they are teenagers and can sleep through the strongest of storms or at the very least my pleas for them to get up and get ready for school).

I got ready for work. Still ½ hour until the kids got up and I was at a loss. I could do more cleaning, I could fold laundry or I could listen to that little voice…the one that was eerily silent right now.

I decide to take the dog out and let her play in the yard. It is a brisk morning for May. I notice that there must have been a light shower during the overnight and that is when I saw it…the reason why I was meant to listen to that little voice. There it was, a beauty I would have missed-drops of water on the leaves of the plants in my garden. I have taken thousands of pictures of my flowers in bloom-their vivid colors dancing in the breeze. I had never seen the water dance on their leaves like this before and it seemed like almost a dream like state that I am in.

 

This morning, there was no breeze. Only the silence of the well balanced water droplets poised on the leaves and the flowers glistening and beckoning to me.

I rush inside to get the camera. I didn’t want to miss a moment. Pause here…I have owned this camera for years, don’t know where the owner’s manual is, and have yet to master the settings and really don’t know if the batteries are even charged! Panic ensues. Quickly, I realize that the worry was unfounded. The batteries were fine and I was rushing back out the door.

I start playing with the settings and the lights and the flowers and the leaves and in this little window that I am gazing through, I am unsure of if I am actually capturing what my eye was seeing. I am excited and nervous and snap some pictures and rush in to the house to hook up to my computer.

By this time, my kids are up and bustling to get ready and they have no idea that I am inwardly doing mental cartwheels. They have no idea that that little voice in my head is getting louder…willing the computer to turn on faster and the pictures to load quicker.

Favorite of all the shots-notice the drop on almost the very top left tip of the leaf where the drop looks like it is in the process of evaporating...so exciting. 

Suddenly-there they are-certainly not award winning, but to me they are everything! The way the light is bouncing off the water droplets makes me feel such a thrill. The way the flowers hold on to the droplets with the purple shining through…glistening. I am thrilled beyond words.

I silently thank that little voice in my head. I will listen to it more often. Clearly, in those moments when I am feeling groggy and unfocused, I need to take a moment to listen. I might hear that little voice direct me where I am meant to be.